Sometime this year most of us will find ourselves in a situation that calls for
defensive action. We may not have to fight off a rapist, but we may have to
face an angry motorist, a complaining neighbor, or an overbearing friend. In
each situation there are different actions that one can take, but only a few of
which are appropriate. The key to an effective personal defense, beyond
anticipating the need, is the ability to select the defensive action that will
provide the greatest protection with the least personal risk. In order to make
this sort of decision, we need to consider the nature of the threat, the
surroundings in which the threat occurs, and our individual skill in using
defensive techniques.
Subtle defensive measures against the bothersome actions of others are valuable
in two ways: they provide the victim with the means to avoid or put a stop to
harassment, and they may prevent the antagonist from proceeding to more violent
action. The intent of these defensive measures is to "defuse" the aggressive
feelings of the assailant and should be used in a friendly manner. It is
important to remember that you want to avoid trouble, not stir it up. The
following suggestions are examples of the use of subtle defensive measures to
eliminate harassment and intimidation.
Ignore and leave.
This should always be the first alternative to consider. Ignoring the
unacceptable actions of others and leaving the scene eliminates the possibility
that your further actions will increase the tension even when you don't want
that to happen.
Be firm but friendly. The
use of a smile, a minor concession, or an apology (even when one is not
warranted) is a valuable technique when your object is to reduce the need for
more violent defensive measures. Care should be taken to not threaten the
aggressor, crush his self-respect, or cause him to lose face, especially in
front of others.
Speak politely. The
effectiveness of verbal defenses is largely dependent on tone of voice and
choice of words. A gentle and considerate tone works better than a loud and
angry one and a request is more effective than a threat or an
insult.
Seek the company of others. The
danger of physical violence is usually minimized, but not always, if there are
others around. If you are alone, walk into a nearby store, change seats, or mix
with others who may be in the immediate vicinity.
Use pressure points.
When you are annoyed by nonviolent but unwanted physical contact, a hand on your
knee or an arm around your shoulders, for example, disengage yourself gently or
ask for the contact to be stopped. If that doesn't work, then you may want to
consider breaking the contact by using pressure points. This takes a certain
amount of skill, and should be learned and practiced with a qualified
instructor.
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